See More Love

In reflecting on my first month in Guatemala - I've realized quite a few things.  In one of my first blog posts about my experience teaching here, I wrote about how the classroom chaos I'm experiencing is a Guatemalan phenomenon, and very hard to work with.  I misspoke.  I know better than to generalize behaviors and frustrations to a whole country of people.  The behaviors manifesting in my classroom can be generalized to my school and this community.  The violent behaviors of my kiddos are mirrors of the violence in their homes and this community, but this isn't true of everyone in Guatemala. It can be easy to sink into frustrations about the cycle of life in a slum, and it can be easy to take out my woes by blanket statement-ing.

This being brought to my attention today reminded me of something else - that it can be so easy to focus on the negative.  In talking to people back home and writing my blogs, it's easy to open the floodgates of vent city and talk about all my struggles and fears.  It's easy to talk about my cold showers, my clothes that I rip and ruin on my cement washboard, the kids who strangle and beat each other up, my useless boss, and the gunshots that are part of my nightly ambiance that no longer make me jump.

But didn't I just return from a trip around the US to practice seeing more love in the world? Weren't my 4 months of traveling spent with the daily intention of reporting on the good in the world and the blessings in my life?  I do want to use this blog and this space as an avenue to talk about the tough social truths happening here, and my struggles to combat violence and oppression.  I want to talk about the kids that are falling through the cracks and my fight to figure out how to make a sustainable change in the lives of my striving ninos.

But I don't want these conversations to be confused with me having a horrible time here.  I need to remember to also share how much I actually love my kids.  How I get 20 cheek kisses and 50 hugs every day, and I feel completely loved.  I wake up every morning and watch the sunrise behind a beautiful volcano, and I think about how lucky I am to have the best view in the city.  My afternoons are so peaceful, filled with time to read, play guitar, do yoga and draw. I love the challenge of learning how to teach children love and compassion, and every day I roll up my sleeves and am excited to go into battle - to see if I can successfully make a child feel seen or guide a child in helping a friend.  I adore the women of this cooperative, and love bumping into them in the stairwell and swapping life stories.

Today was an amazing day with my kiddos.  Obstinate-defiant Jhulian decided to become a librarian - he interviewed kids and checked them out books (from our cardboard box library) according to their interests.  My Special Ed Yeremi was so excited about our art project that he made 3 self portraits, and correctly followed all the steps.  My little Orlando wrote his name by himself, and shy little Josue performed in front of the class during our dance party.

Mi clase!

One of my little Yeremi's 3 portraits

This is one of my favorite little buddies, he is always so careful with his art.  This took him 2 hours!